If I believed...

If I believed in God…

I wouldn’t be too happy or sad about specific events. The isolated actions of God cannot be good or bad. God sees the whole picture, while I don’t, so I can’t judge what is “good” and what is “bad”, except in a very limited time frame and with very limited perception of the overall results. Therefore, no matter how much I'd experience certain events as positive or negative, I would try to find out what God wants me to learn from them instead of thanking, or cursing, or begging him. I would depend upon my faith to find the strength to deal with the “negative” ones and I wouldn't let myself get too content with the “positive” ones.

I would never and for no reason blame him, of course; but I would never thank him for anything specific either. I would thank him constantly simply for existing, for being there, and loving me, and guiding me, and taking care of me; simply for caring.

I’d follow his rules with no hesitation and no doubt. The power and the righteousness of God are self-evident if you believe in him and they leave no room for negotiation. So, the path is very simple: Abide by God’s rules or repent every time you break them and you’ll be rewarded sooner (in this life) or later (after death). Disregard them and you’ll pay sooner or later. What, then, would ever be worth disobeying God himself for? Since I’d have a path that would ensure me the grace of God, of the supreme and most perfect being, why would I ever, even for once, go against him?

I would never ask anything of him, since I’d only want for myself what he wants for me. What’s more hypocritical than asking the highest intelligence to change its mind for you? Besides, why would he ever change his mind? If God wants your loved one to die in a car crash, then your loved one will die in a car crash. If he wants you to get your degree or a raise, you’ll get your degree or a raise. Why would the omnipotent being base such decisions on how many times you prayed or how intently you were focused? And, in the end, why bother him with such trivial matters? Most of our worries are insignificant in the face of God’s plan and anyone who serves him cannot not understand that they mustn't get wasted on such meaningless issues.

I wouldn’t worry, I wouldn’t fear for anything, since I would know that my soul will be safe in his hands, protected and safeguarded, for as long as I'm swearing my allegiance to him.

But I don’t believe. Without fear or favour, without pride or shame, I can state it, simply because it is so. And, although I don’t believe, my way is not that different than what it would be if I did.

Although I don’t believe…

I, indeed, try not to be too happy or too sad when good or bad things happen, because I know that the complexity of the situations surpasses my ability to understand it. Something that seems good/bad now, might be bad/good tomorrow, or have a later consequence that I can’t see yet.

I, indeed, don’t thank or curse anybody for any specific thing, although that’s because I don’t think there’s anyone to thank or curse. I, indeed, thank some things simply because they exist, in a secular and poetic pagan anthropomorphizing way; I thank the Universe, the Sun, the Earth etc simply because they exist, making it possible for me to exist, as well.

I, indeed, follow some rules without hesitation or doubt, those of morality. Some say they are subjective, but I have reasons to think they are, at least for the most part, universal and timeless. However, I follow the rules of morality not only without guarantee that I will be rewarded for that, but without guarantee that I won’t be, at least, punished for it.

I, indeed, don't wait for anything to fall out of the sky. I make the most of the opportunities that come my way and I try to create opportunities myself. And I always keep in mind that the point is to deal with whatever happens the best way I can.

But because I don’t believe…

I worry and fear about a lot of things, but mostly for my “soul” (unscientific term that I use to describe my conscious sense of integrity); because I’m not waiting for some god to show me the right path, to guide me when I don’t know what to do, to make me happy, to help me make people around me happy. I believe that whatever will happen, will happen by my powers, by the help of other people and/or by chance. I don’t believe in divine justice or Judgment, so that I will be vindicated sooner or later..

I’m not waiting for some god to teach me compassion, solidarity. And I don’t need some god to bribe me with a paradise and bully me with a hell to keep me from killing, stealing, cheating, tolerating lying, hypocrisy, greed, intolerance. I don’t need a god to teach me the value of love or to show me the human potential for

both the best and the worst.

No, I don’t need any God.

I need people.

I need my parents, my siblings, my friends, my neighbors, my teachers, my classmates, my employers, my employees, my clients, my passers-by. I need signs by some of them that, whether they believe in some superior being or not, they believe in me… they believe in us.